Islam's law, the shari'a, is all encompassing. It reaches to the ethereal realms of the proper means to worship God through prayer in its intricate detail, but it also stoops down to address the nether regions of man (and woman). Indeed, as one hadith puts it the non-Muslims of Muhammad's time were amazed at the detail with which Muhammad taught his believers. Muhammad, they observed, "teaches you about everything, even about excrement." Sahih Muslim II.504 It is true that Muhammad taught about excrement: there is a shari'a of shit. But that is a topic for another day. Today we want to focus on the shari'a of pubes, yes, pubes. It is part of the requirements of al-fitra (الفطرة--sometimes transliterated as al-fitrah) or cleanliness.
Yes, Muhammad so loved the world that he deigned--not to give his followers his son (for they all died young)--but to teach them instead the perfection even in the area of how to handle that intricate moral problem of pubic hair. There is, in fact, a shari'a of pubes. Jesus said that God knows the number of hairs on our head; Muhammad one-upped Jesus, as he knew what God's plans were with respect to the hairs on our unmentionables. This is proof positive of Muhammad's moral perfection. We must envision the claimed prophet of Allah shaving his privates, I mean around his penis and his anus, to get the full implication of the moral perfection of his teaching.
"To be or not to be, that is the question," an ordinary man or even a troubled man like Hamlet might think. But only the prophet of Allah asks: "To shave or not to shave?" This is part of the glorious revelation of Muhammad, as it is apparent that the teachings of Moses and Jesus both were deficient in that they did not handle the issue of pubes. It is a boon to humanity that Allah disclosed to this most perfect of all men the eternal law relating to the shaving of pubes. Humanity was in darkness, or at least in hairiness, until this divine law was disclosed.
(Although we Christians and Jews did not know it, all prophets--Abraham, Moses, and Jesus among them--apparently shaved their pubes inasmuch as all prophets are said to have complied with the requirements of al-fitra, one precept of which is the shaving of pubes. I do not know how Muhammad knew the historical shaving habits of Abraham, Moses, Solomon, or Jesus, or the many other prophets. Where these habits are recorded, in scripture or tradition, or whether they were simply a revelation in the febrile mind of Muhammad I do not claim to know. What we do know is that he must have known since in Islam by definition it is not possible that Muhammad did not know what he was talking about.)
The Qur'an has only vague references to fitra:
Thankfully, as in many cases, the Sunna or customs recorded in the various anthologies of ahadith help fill the gaps of what the Qur'an means. We learn through the ahadith that the fitra of Allah, of course, extends beyond pubes. We are meant to understand that it includes somewhere between five and ten requirements. The ahadith that deal with the issue of fitra are somewhat inconsistent, but thankfully there is concordance in the shari'a of pubes.
For example, in the highly-regarded anthology of ahadith Sahih al-Bukhari 7.72.77, we find the following hadith:
Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari
(We can confidently surmise that he has shaved his pubes within the last 40 days)
The requirements of shaving pubes, as the Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari in the YouTube discussion included below insists over and over again, are "very important." (This Mufti is an authority on Islamic sexual relations and the growing of beards, and he has written such books as Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations and a book entitled Shaykh Zakariyya Kandahlawi’s Wujub I’fa’ al-Lihya which addresses the obligation of growing a beard. These books, I'm sure, have added much to the wisdom of mankind.)
There are strict time constraints for shaving pubes. A pious Muslim is to shave his pubes at least every forty days. Failure to do so can interfere with prayers. In the commentary Mishkat-ul-Masaih (Vol. I, ch. vi, p. 607) we are told that according to the Ihya of Imam Gazzali (Vol. 4, p. 129), the "hairs surrounding the male and female organs should be shaved or shortened at least once in every forty days. If it is not done, the body cannot be said to have been cleansed of all impurities so as to make it fit for saying prayers." Muhammad, we must assume, perfectly complied with this requirement. I have seen some of Muhammad's swords. I have not seen Muhammad's razor. I have heard of Ockham's razor, but until I started studying Islam I had no idea that Muhammad had a razor also. The Franciscan Ockham's razor was mental, and he used it to shave thoughts; Muhammad's razor was real, and he used it to shave his pubes. I'm glad Muhammad did not use his razor on his thoughts, but instead told us his thoughts on his razor. It goes without saying that Muhammad's razor is a far better thing to know about that Ockham's razor, and it has contributed more to humanity's betterment.
The good Imam Gazzali based himself on true tradition, for the forty-day period is what is suggested in, among other places, Sahih Muslim II.497:
This interesting excursus on the shari'a of pubes leads to some interesting reflections.
First, the failure of Christians and Jews (and other non-believers and infidels) to shave their pubes explains why, according to Muslims, Allah does not hear their prayers: they have not shaved their pubes. Also, here we are exposed to the superiority of Muhammad's teaching. When the disciples of Jesus asked Jesus to teach them to pray, he neglected to teach them the whole truth. Jesus should have said . . . first, shave your pubes . . . and only then should he have taught them the Our Father. First things first. See! Clearly Muhammad's teachings are superior!
Second, the shari'a of pubes when joined with the shari'a of jihad raises a very interesting situation. Combining the two laws we come to the proposition that, in Islam, the man who nurses in his heart the intent to kill a Christian or Jew for no other reason than that he or she is a Christian or Jew or who even kills a Christian or Jew, but who shave his pubes, is a better man by far, than a man who tries to love all men--regardless of creed--but does not shave his pubes. The logic of Islam is that Muhammad Atta is a better human being than Mother Theresa of Calcutta because he shaved his pubes, and she did not. Oh, Christian saints live in such darkness compared to the enlightened martyrs of Islam! We ignorant Westerners have so much to learn from the enlightened doctrine and practices of Islam!
Yes, Muhammad so loved the world that he deigned--not to give his followers his son (for they all died young)--but to teach them instead the perfection even in the area of how to handle that intricate moral problem of pubic hair. There is, in fact, a shari'a of pubes. Jesus said that God knows the number of hairs on our head; Muhammad one-upped Jesus, as he knew what God's plans were with respect to the hairs on our unmentionables. This is proof positive of Muhammad's moral perfection. We must envision the claimed prophet of Allah shaving his privates, I mean around his penis and his anus, to get the full implication of the moral perfection of his teaching.
"To be or not to be, that is the question," an ordinary man or even a troubled man like Hamlet might think. But only the prophet of Allah asks: "To shave or not to shave?" This is part of the glorious revelation of Muhammad, as it is apparent that the teachings of Moses and Jesus both were deficient in that they did not handle the issue of pubes. It is a boon to humanity that Allah disclosed to this most perfect of all men the eternal law relating to the shaving of pubes. Humanity was in darkness, or at least in hairiness, until this divine law was disclosed.
(Although we Christians and Jews did not know it, all prophets--Abraham, Moses, and Jesus among them--apparently shaved their pubes inasmuch as all prophets are said to have complied with the requirements of al-fitra, one precept of which is the shaving of pubes. I do not know how Muhammad knew the historical shaving habits of Abraham, Moses, Solomon, or Jesus, or the many other prophets. Where these habits are recorded, in scripture or tradition, or whether they were simply a revelation in the febrile mind of Muhammad I do not claim to know. What we do know is that he must have known since in Islam by definition it is not possible that Muhammad did not know what he was talking about.)
The Qur'an has only vague references to fitra:
So direct your face toward the religion [لِلدِّينِ ], inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah [فِطْرَتَ اللَّهِ] upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know.Qur'an 30:30 (Sahih International).
Thankfully, as in many cases, the Sunna or customs recorded in the various anthologies of ahadith help fill the gaps of what the Qur'an means. We learn through the ahadith that the fitra of Allah, of course, extends beyond pubes. We are meant to understand that it includes somewhere between five and ten requirements. The ahadith that deal with the issue of fitra are somewhat inconsistent, but thankfully there is concordance in the shari'a of pubes.
For example, in the highly-regarded anthology of ahadith Sahih al-Bukhari 7.72.77, we find the following hadith:
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Sahih Muslim, another highly-regarded anthology of authentic ahadith, identifies ten, not five, essentials of fitra in 2.502:
Allah's Apostle said, "Five practices are characteristics of the fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic region, clipping the nails and cutting the mustaches short.
'A'isha reported: Muhammad said: Ten are the acts according to fitra: clipping the mustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing water in the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving the pubic hair and cleaning one's private parts with water. The narrator said: I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth.In any event, both authorities clearly include the pubes.
Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari (We can confidently surmise that he has shaved his pubes within the last 40 days)
The requirements of shaving pubes, as the Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al Kawthari in the YouTube discussion included below insists over and over again, are "very important." (This Mufti is an authority on Islamic sexual relations and the growing of beards, and he has written such books as Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations and a book entitled Shaykh Zakariyya Kandahlawi’s Wujub I’fa’ al-Lihya which addresses the obligation of growing a beard. These books, I'm sure, have added much to the wisdom of mankind.)
There are strict time constraints for shaving pubes. A pious Muslim is to shave his pubes at least every forty days. Failure to do so can interfere with prayers. In the commentary Mishkat-ul-Masaih (Vol. I, ch. vi, p. 607) we are told that according to the Ihya of Imam Gazzali (Vol. 4, p. 129), the "hairs surrounding the male and female organs should be shaved or shortened at least once in every forty days. If it is not done, the body cannot be said to have been cleansed of all impurities so as to make it fit for saying prayers." Muhammad, we must assume, perfectly complied with this requirement. I have seen some of Muhammad's swords. I have not seen Muhammad's razor. I have heard of Ockham's razor, but until I started studying Islam I had no idea that Muhammad had a razor also. The Franciscan Ockham's razor was mental, and he used it to shave thoughts; Muhammad's razor was real, and he used it to shave his pubes. I'm glad Muhammad did not use his razor on his thoughts, but instead told us his thoughts on his razor. It goes without saying that Muhammad's razor is a far better thing to know about that Ockham's razor, and it has contributed more to humanity's betterment.
The good Imam Gazzali based himself on true tradition, for the forty-day period is what is suggested in, among other places, Sahih Muslim II.497:
Anas reported: A time limit has been prescribed for us for clipping the moustache, cutting the nails, plucking hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes, that it should not be neglected far more than forty nights.It seems that a woman in Islam is under a further requirement. Not only must she shave her pubes every forty days to please Allah, she must also shave more frequently to please her husband, and she should save especially before he comes home from a trip, perhaps returning from a jihad campaign. It is important to clear the forest so that the Muslim man can find his way home, if you get my drift:
Narrated by Jabir bin 'AbdullahSahih al-Bukhari7.62.173.
The Prophet said, "If you enter (your town) at night (after coming from a journey), do not enter upon your family till the woman whose husband was absent (from the house) shaves her pubic hair and the woman with unkempt hair, combs her hair" Allah's Apostle further said, "(O Jabir!) Seek to have offspring, seek to have offspring!"
This interesting excursus on the shari'a of pubes leads to some interesting reflections.
First, the failure of Christians and Jews (and other non-believers and infidels) to shave their pubes explains why, according to Muslims, Allah does not hear their prayers: they have not shaved their pubes. Also, here we are exposed to the superiority of Muhammad's teaching. When the disciples of Jesus asked Jesus to teach them to pray, he neglected to teach them the whole truth. Jesus should have said . . . first, shave your pubes . . . and only then should he have taught them the Our Father. First things first. See! Clearly Muhammad's teachings are superior!
Second, the shari'a of pubes when joined with the shari'a of jihad raises a very interesting situation. Combining the two laws we come to the proposition that, in Islam, the man who nurses in his heart the intent to kill a Christian or Jew for no other reason than that he or she is a Christian or Jew or who even kills a Christian or Jew, but who shave his pubes, is a better man by far, than a man who tries to love all men--regardless of creed--but does not shave his pubes. The logic of Islam is that Muhammad Atta is a better human being than Mother Theresa of Calcutta because he shaved his pubes, and she did not. Oh, Christian saints live in such darkness compared to the enlightened martyrs of Islam! We ignorant Westerners have so much to learn from the enlightened doctrine and practices of Islam!
Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari's teaching the Shari'a of pubes
(He starts in Arabic, but segues into English)
(He starts in Arabic, but segues into English)
Yes, and let thy menstruating women leave the village until their bleeding be done. The Islamic shit is no more dumb than the Jewish or Christian shit. You're all hopeless idiots trying to plant your righteous flag atop the tallest trash heap you believe to be moral high ground, deriding each other for identical faults. At least you provide a damn good laugh for the rest of us, however unfortunate it may be that this is the only good you're capable of brining.
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