For a pious Muslim, spitting has some great qualities. Before one is Muslim, spitting does nothing for you. After you become Muslim, however, your spittle becomes very powerful, as if by magic. This is one of the benefits of becoming Muslim: your spit turns from just mere human spit, to Islamic spit, and Islamic split is better than mere human spit. Muslims are the best of mankind, and so it follows, quite logically, that Muslim spit is better than Christian, Jewish, or (need we say), an atheist's spit. One of the great boons of becoming Muslim, then, is the benefit to your spit. Satan is frightened of a Muslim's spittle, but everyone else's spittle is . . . just spittle to Satan. If I were you, if for no other reason, I would become Muslim just because your spit turns magic.
Specifically, Muslim spit can keep you safe from nightmares, and protect your from Satan.
Spiting once over your left should protect you from bad dreams.
According to a hadith found in al-Bukhari (4.54.513):
Satan is a little harder to stop that mere nightmares. One must spit over his left shoulder three times to remove the temptations of Satan. According to a hadith found in Sahim Muslim 26.5463:
The spit is so powerful that it can be minimal spit, even a form of dry spit and dry spitting. This is a very fine art, and so we may be thankful for the likes of Egyptian Cleric Wagdi Ghneim, who will helps explicate the Muslim way of how to expectorate.
It is very funny that Christians worship the trinity (as Mr. Ghneim laughingly points out at the end of his enlightening talk). Muslims are much wiser, since they now that trinity refers not to God, but to spit techniques. Really, Allah and his prophet know best.
Mr. Ghneim suggests we teach our wives and children the benefits of spitting. Perhaps the following ditty (sung to the melody of "Knock Tree Times" by Tony Orlando) can help:
Oh my Allah
Spit three times o'er my shoulder and I'm safer
Mmmmm twice is no good, for Muhammad said so
Oh al-Rahman
Means my prayers will surely do you service
Oh twice is no good, for Muhammad said so.
Russians, I understand, have a custom of spitting over their left shoulder. This is something, I'm quite sure, they did not get from the wisdom of the Orthodox faith. It is something likely they got from the wisdom of Islam. This is just one example of how the West obtained so many benefits from Islam. Islam gave medieval Europe exposure to Aristotle and such other things. Islam gave the Russians the custom of spitting over one's left shoulder. It is perhaps a shame that the greater West did not get this custom at the same time it was exposed to the works of Avicenna and Averroes.
Islam has forgotten Aristotle (and Avicenna and Averroes).
But Islam has not forgotten its teachings on spitting.
Islam has put the more important thing first, since everyone knows that one hadith is (or two ahadith are) better than the whole of Aristotle.
Things brings us to an interesting fact. Islam tells us to forget Aristotle (he's much too hard to read anyway), but reminds us to spit over your left shoulder. Oh . . . and if you are tempted to read Aristotle . . . why that's either a bad dream or a temptation of Satan . . . so . . . quickly . . . remember your Sahih al-Bukhari, remember your Sahih Muslim, remember the sublime teachings of Muhammad, and spit three times with great celerity over your left shoulder. The temptation to read Aristotle should leave you.*
Guaranteed by the word of Muhammad.
______________________________________
*It may also have the unfortunate side effect of suppressing your reason, but reason is overrated anyway. Reason, one might remember, would probably say that a Muslim's spit is just like everyone else's spit, and that spitting over one's left shoulder is not really much different metaphysically from spitting over one's right shoulder. Reason may even say that the devil could care less whether you spit over your left or right shoulder. Reason in fact might say that the devil is happy so long as you think that spitting over your shoulder gets rid of his influence and don't think that you are under his influence if you believe that killing Christians and Jews and non-believers in jihad is commanded by God.
Specifically, Muslim spit can keep you safe from nightmares, and protect your from Satan.
Spiting once over your left should protect you from bad dreams.
According to a hadith found in al-Bukhari (4.54.513):
Narrated Abu Qatada: The Prophet said, "A good dream is from Allah, and a bad or evil dream is from Satan; so if anyone of you has a bad dream of which he gets afraid, he should spit on his left side and should seek Refuge with Allah from its evil, for then it will not harm him.
Satan is a little harder to stop that mere nightmares. One must spit over his left shoulder three times to remove the temptations of Satan. According to a hadith found in Sahim Muslim 26.5463:
Uthman b. Abu al-'As reported that he came to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Allah's Messenger, the Satan intervenes between me and my prayer and my reciting of the Qur'an and he confounds me. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: That is (the doing of the Satan) who is known as Khinzab, and when you perceive its effect, seek refuge with Allah from it and spit three times to your left. I did that and Allah dispelled that from me.
The spit is so powerful that it can be minimal spit, even a form of dry spit and dry spitting. This is a very fine art, and so we may be thankful for the likes of Egyptian Cleric Wagdi Ghneim, who will helps explicate the Muslim way of how to expectorate.
It is very funny that Christians worship the trinity (as Mr. Ghneim laughingly points out at the end of his enlightening talk). Muslims are much wiser, since they now that trinity refers not to God, but to spit techniques. Really, Allah and his prophet know best.
Mr. Ghneim suggests we teach our wives and children the benefits of spitting. Perhaps the following ditty (sung to the melody of "Knock Tree Times" by Tony Orlando) can help:
Oh my Allah
Spit three times o'er my shoulder and I'm safer
Mmmmm twice is no good, for Muhammad said so
Oh al-Rahman
Means my prayers will surely do you service
Oh twice is no good, for Muhammad said so.
Russians, I understand, have a custom of spitting over their left shoulder. This is something, I'm quite sure, they did not get from the wisdom of the Orthodox faith. It is something likely they got from the wisdom of Islam. This is just one example of how the West obtained so many benefits from Islam. Islam gave medieval Europe exposure to Aristotle and such other things. Islam gave the Russians the custom of spitting over one's left shoulder. It is perhaps a shame that the greater West did not get this custom at the same time it was exposed to the works of Avicenna and Averroes.
Islam has forgotten Aristotle (and Avicenna and Averroes).
But Islam has not forgotten its teachings on spitting.
Islam has put the more important thing first, since everyone knows that one hadith is (or two ahadith are) better than the whole of Aristotle.
Things brings us to an interesting fact. Islam tells us to forget Aristotle (he's much too hard to read anyway), but reminds us to spit over your left shoulder. Oh . . . and if you are tempted to read Aristotle . . . why that's either a bad dream or a temptation of Satan . . . so . . . quickly . . . remember your Sahih al-Bukhari, remember your Sahih Muslim, remember the sublime teachings of Muhammad, and spit three times with great celerity over your left shoulder. The temptation to read Aristotle should leave you.*
Guaranteed by the word of Muhammad.
______________________________________
*It may also have the unfortunate side effect of suppressing your reason, but reason is overrated anyway. Reason, one might remember, would probably say that a Muslim's spit is just like everyone else's spit, and that spitting over one's left shoulder is not really much different metaphysically from spitting over one's right shoulder. Reason may even say that the devil could care less whether you spit over your left or right shoulder. Reason in fact might say that the devil is happy so long as you think that spitting over your shoulder gets rid of his influence and don't think that you are under his influence if you believe that killing Christians and Jews and non-believers in jihad is commanded by God.
Ohhh please, here is a list of all the things muslims claim,they do for the good but none of it is legit, true or serves a purpose fitting only them. the best eg is how it speaks ill about everyone and everything, showing no respect as if islam alone is the best thing in the world. Tbh this article and every word written here is the stupidest/funniest/total nonsense, ever heard or read. I dont care if this offends yall, youve offended others too with ur useless practices.
ReplyDeleteDid God came and told you that spitting is a good practice and that Muslim spit is pure and the others are haram? Stop sharing your opinions saying it is God's order. God is Master and everyone's Master is one. He has separated us into religions so that we get more wisdom from each other, learn to share and always be there for each other. When condemning the children of God, it means we are condemning the God himself. We breath the same air provided by Him, We also drink the same water when having the same thirst. God the omnipresent comes in different forms. So there's no difference between Allah and Shiva, Buddha or Jesus. This are his forms. Everyone should understand this. Discrimination, criticisms of one another should be condemned and only love towards all should be spreaded.
ReplyDeleteJust take two minutes to think calmly. Why do we need to hate and envy. Just love and the world will be a wonderful heaven. We can't change the world but we can change ourselves. Everything starts from us.
Please do not post something like this again. I know this is not written intentionally. Try writing about the cultures of different ethnics or something that relates to God. It will provide you beautiful comments. Thankyou